So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
