you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
