Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
