i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
