they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
