you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
