Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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