elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He felt like a one man threesome
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
