I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
