Pappa wants mamma naked
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
