I just threw up on my dentist
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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