Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
