somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
