Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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