he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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