Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
