ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
