You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize