she was so not down for the gang bang
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
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The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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