i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
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We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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