She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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