First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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