How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we should paint friendship bongs
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