i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
