That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
how does that bad decision feel?
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