Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
