Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
