i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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