Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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