Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
