This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
