remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
