Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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