Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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