I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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