I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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