Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We need a shit load of segways right now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
