I can text with my tongue
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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