dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
