you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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