This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize