Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
