I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
