you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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