Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
