i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
