Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
