i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
