one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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