he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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