he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
