Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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