would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
