you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
