great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My ass is underappreciated
you made out with another girl for some wings
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
