I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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