You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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