in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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