Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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