Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
