We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
