Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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