dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
