it wasn't lemon gatorade
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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