He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Randomize
