She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
