I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
