UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
