Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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