Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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