So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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